The other night I had a disturbing dream. I'm not normally a dreamer - or don't remember them, anyway.
I was at work, talking to my mom on the phone, trying to whisper to her that I thought I might be pregnant. The next thing I remember was an ultrasound being scheduled and then immediately performed in my cubicle. The ultrasound (because they are so accurate at, what, two weeks?) said something (in text even) about it being a boy. I feigned happiness in my dream, but mentioned to someone that they could never be sure at that far along.
Then in walks my boss, asking me "How long is this going to take?" "When will you be back at work?" "What's your plan, here?"
I was scared, confused...I just found out, I DON'T KNOW!!
I don't remember where it went from here, because really, it just got weird. But that feeling at the end of Office Scene 1 struck me through my whole body. I woke still feeling it. It was a crushing, confusing, debilitating, unknowing feeling. A feeling like I had to make a choice between two impossible solutions. Two very different paths that would each have a profound impact on my life. But I didn't know what to choose. I just sat there, with that feeling, wondering what to do.