Thursday, March 8, 2007

FMILF Update

When did you realize that you needed to lose weight?

For me, it was in March of 2006. It had been six months since I’d had Bella. My weight had stabilized at 180 – and there is sat. Wasn’t all this fat supposed to just melt off? I was halfway through my “year” – the time they say it takes for your body to get back to ‘normal’ – and I still felt like my body was a swollen version of what I’d remembered.

Prior to my pregnancy, I weighed about 145. This wasn’t a great weight to be at for me – I had put on about ten pounds from being lazy, being attached and sitting at a desk all day.

Thanks to Cold Stone Creamery, Burger King shakes (the one down the street used SYRUP!) and boneless wings from BW3’s, I gained A LOT of weight during the ordeal. My 37-week OB appointment surely would have told me I’d gone over 200 pounds. However, as most of you know, I never made that appointment. From the last day I weighed myself that week until March of last year, I had no idea how much I weighed. All I knew is that I was unhappy. I was unhappy with my life, my looks, my feelings. I was sick of grunting every time I bent over – sick of my coat not zipping. But I kept my good buddy Fattening Junk Food by my side to console me.

Something changed for me, though. I’d like to credit WalkAmerica for getting me off my keister. It was a goal – all set up and ready for me. All I had to do was show up.

Then I started eating healthier. I started figuring out conversions – creating worksheets – meticulously tracking my calories.

I bought a yoga DVD – and actually woke up some mornings to DO it.

I started walking during my lunch break. I brought a whole set of clothes to change into, grabbed my iPod and a bottle of water and set off. The time outside in the fresh air was invigorating. I hated doing this, though. I was embarrassed. I felt like people were talking about me. Everyone in the office knew about my lunch plans and commented about them regularly. But I stuck with it, because I saw the pounds dropping off. I was surprised that I was actually making changes – I was making real progress.

I had the support of The Man – the kids – the rest of my family. We started doing healthy things like after dinner walks with the kids, hiking in Taylor’s Falls, and walking downtown to eat on the weekends.

By June I was down to 150 pounds. Thirty pounds lost. I knew in my heart that I could say “No” to treats and I’d be just fine. I regularly made choices that I would have considered sacrifices before – but then I looked at it as doing what was good for me.

I don’t know what happened to all that wonderful motivation I had before.

Mid-June, my co-worker went on a two-week vacation. I lost my breaks trying to keep up with all the extra work. By the time she came back, I’d taken my walking clothes home. Aside from a couple walks taken on especially nice days, I haven’t made an active move to lose weight since.

I have maintained my (mostly) healthy eating habits. Aside from my normal Holiday Season Gluttony, I’ve kept most of my meals lean. I haven’t gone back to my fast-food grubbin’ days (Thanks, Poor House!). But eating healthy doesn’t burn fat.

I feel like I’m waiting for something. Like something is just going to click on inside me and I’ll go back to being the Ms. Fit (Haha, I’m always a Misfit!) I was last year.

I don’t know what it is, but I’m getting awfully sick of waiting.

So tell me Future MILF’s, what motivates you? What drives you to get out of bed in the morning? What’s different THIS time?


exskindiver said...

hi butterfly,
i will send you an email....wait actually i guess i can just write it here.
A, (that's you) i did not realize that Bella was yours.
i read your link to march of dimes and for some reason i thought you had "adopted" a baby to walk for.
i am so very sorry hear this.
so very sorry.
on a positive, sunshine's dancing video is a hoot.
about the hams,
as of right now,
personal checks (so it serves as a receipt) BUT people should hold on to their money for now--
as it gets closer and i am more organized with a bank account to hold helping hands funds--i will collect.
the important thing right now is to get information and awareness out there.
thank you. thank you. thank you.
have a great week end
and i will 'see' you on monday.
(or sooner if the weekend is slow)

Kristina said...

I seem to have lost my "it" right now too. Let me know if you figure out what "it" is!

I used to get up and work out, and it made me feel GREAT and a *little* less irritable all day, which I'm sure all who had contact with me appreciated! I've "plateaued" somewhat...luckily, the better eating has stuck around so I'm not gaining, but I'm not really losing either, which is the problem.

sillychick said...

I don't know what my "it" was either. Maybe I got sick of wanting what "used to be" and started going in the right direction. Maybe it was the realization of hearing myself bitch about being fat, but yet doing nothing about it. I really don't know.
All I really know is that "it" is here and regardless of how many times I slip, I will get back up and I will continue to lose this fat.
On a side note, I can't believe that is the same woman in those look amazing now!

Kelly said...

I think if we knew what "it" was we wouldn't be where we are now. I'm hoping this time the "it" is the fact that I'm not dieting. I'm just trying to take care of myself better. We'll see...

Sugar Kane said...

I've been struggling with my weight ever since I had my son. (almost 7 years ago!) It wasn't until my father pulled my aside at a family event and asked if I was pregnant that I found my 'it'. It really hurt my feelings, but has been a great motivator!

mrslady said...

I have struggled rediculously with wieght since taking depo and having an allergic reation that caused me to gain almost 65 pounds in three weeks (that's 3 POUNDS a day, if you didn't want to do the math). Considering I had worked very hard and gained only 23 pounds when I was pregnant with my son, I was (and still am) devestated. I have worked my buns off, but because of the hormone issues that are still here because of depo, in the last 2 YEARS I have only managed to lose 12 pounds. It's hard to have "it" when you know if you only ate air and excersized 20 hours a day you wouldn't lose any more than your body would have let you lose anyway. I guess right now I just do it to make sure I'm not getting any bigger.

MommasWorld said...

Thanks for the support and comments about the CF topic.

Have a fantastic day!