There Go My Flawless Plans

(Get it? It's a metaphor. I know ... I'm a geek.)

Prologue:

I met The Man some years ago while living with his sisters. His older sister lived in a house with his younger sister and truck driver step-dad. I lived there with them and did daycare for her kids. It was a strange housing situation, but it worked. I was young and needed a place to live and for some reason didn’t mind the fact that it was filthy beyond belief in that house. (I suppose I figured the ‘streets’ were the less appealing option.) When The Man and his now ex-wife split, I took on watching his kids for free to help him out – because he was my friends’ brother. One thing led to another and The Man and I started dating. To leave out years of details that don’t really apply to this story I’ll cut to the chase and tell you that they all became meth-heads. Both sisters, the ex-wife, and pretty much everyone else we’d hung out with.

The Man and I had a light-bulb relationship in the beginning, but for the most part, we both distanced ourselves from the group. The last time I saw his older sister, who we’ll just call HHH (she’s never killed anyone that I know of, but I would not put it past her), we were in an actual fistfight.

Lil' Sis supposedly cleaned up and moved on from the meth group. We still talk to her once in a while and are on pretty good terms. HHH, after losing her three kids, got busted yet again and served time in prison. My MIL got the kids out of foster care and adopted them. When HHH was released last summer, she moved right back in with her momma.

The last time The Man and I talked about her, he was adamant that he didn’t ever care to see HHH again. I think his mom pretty much knew this, though nobody had said anything to her, because they just stopped calling us. This pretty much ended our contact with his mom’s entire household. I told him then, “I don’t want to stand between you and your family, but I don’t ever want to see her again.” He totally agreed.

Problem:

So… Here we are: The first Christmas that HHH is “free” and “part of the family” again. When The Man talked to his brother about Christmas, his brother said they all want to come to our house – but only if HHH could come. Hmmm…let me think…the last memory I have of HHH is her running out of a house with her fists flying – which led to her pulling my hair and trying gouge out my eyeball. The last time I actually spoke to her, she was making up stories to break up The Man and me and was on her way over to “kick me in the head.” Yeah…I TOTALLY think this is a great idea. “Hey, HHH, why don’t you come over and plop your fat ass down on my couch and talk about how much you hate me? You can finally ‘kick me in the head’ like you’ve always wanted to do!” What’s Christmas without some Psycho Family Drama?? Oh, right, peaceful and fulfilling – meaningful.

I don’t know what to do about this, seriously. I DO NOT WANT HER at my house. PERIOD. I would not choose a serial killer as her alias if she were even close to being a decent person. She is the epitome of evil. She is a heartless, conniving bitch. She gets what she wants by tearing through anyone in her way. She befriends people solely based on what she can get from them and uses everything she knows about them to burn them when she no longer has a need for them. I think I’m starting to sound bitter, but I’m actually the one that ended our friendship, not her. That is what made her so hateful toward me. I could not have for seen at that time that The Man and I would actually start a life together and I may have to see her on certain holidays.

Good Lord, It's a spitting image!

When The Man told me about this last night, I was like, “What do you want me to say to that?” I don’t know what he was expecting so I told him flat out “I don’t want her here.” I don’t know where they get off giving me the ultimatum “Either invite us ALL or we won’t see you on Christmas.” I feel like they are forcing me to say no. I can’t tell if The Man is really upset about it or not. I really don’t want to cut him off from his family and I’ve suggested other ways to do it, but they just won’t work for them. I am completely willing to see her again if I have the option to LEAVE if things get crazy. But, “They can’t do it their house – they don’t even have a tree!”

My dear mother suggested we invite them all over to her house on Christmas Eve, which seemed like a great idea to me. Her SIL is a loud-mouthed, obscene crackhead herself, so I think she and HHH would click. But my worry with that is my mom lives in a beautiful house on a private lake and they live in a mobile home in the boondocks. I’m sometimes embarrassed by my mom’s house because I feel it gives the impression that we have a lot of money – or that we’re snooty. Mind you, I did not grow up in this house – not even CLOSE. My mom has worked very hard to get where she is and she continues to work very hard to PAY for it. But she is very proud of it and loves to show it off and I am worried that they will think we’re trying to demean them by inviting them there.

Solution:

NONE - I SO need some help with this!

Any suggestions AT ALL will be appreciated more than you will ever know!