Put On A Happy Face!

About Yesterday: Of course Mother’s Day is hard for me. It’s hard for millions of people: Women who’ve lost children, husbands who’ve lost wives, children who’ve lost mothers.

But this year it is extra *special* for me because yesterday The Man went to family court to discuss visitation changes. We’ve been doing a lot of talking and both think that it might be better for everyone if BioMom started taking the kids for full weekends e/o weekend (she only gets one night e/o/w now). She gained about 50 pounds, so I’m pretty sure she’s off the meth. She’s been in her own apartment for about a month (and hopefully will be more willing to provide a smoke-free visit with the kids). She’s just made some small improvements, you know? I was also hoping that spending more time with her, Ninja Boy would both lighten up his attitude and realize that rules have to apply everywhere. Does that seem sneaky? Having them longer than 24 hours, she’s going to have to apply rules, right?

Anyway – that’s not what this is about.

This is about Sunday. First, The Man agreed to the hours of six pm Friday to six pm Sunday – meaning I won’t see them pretty much at all on Sunday.

Also, for three years, I’ve been getting “home”-made presents from the kids for Mother’s Day. When they were in daycare, they planted little flowers and made me “Tylenol” candles (red and white tealight candles back to back, really cute).

But this year, they didn’t. Sunshine was on the phone with BioMom, telling her, “I made you a card and a picture and something I can’t tell you.”

Do I really have a right to be upset here? I mean, she IS their mom. I am probably just jealous. And maybe a little spiteful that all it takes is a few months without canceling a visit and some toys and it’s like she never chose to be without them.

I would expect that they would always love their mom. She did give birth to them, and even though she made really bad choices, that’s gotta count for something.

I guess I’m just a little bitter – like I do all the work and she gets to just have fun with them.

After I got that off my chest yesterday, I felt much better. I went home to find that The Man had bought me a strand of pearls. He told me how much he appreciates me and that he thinks I am a good mom to the kids. That really made me feel better.

Then as soon as I walked into the building today, some jackass asked, “Hey, how’s that kid of yours?”

To which I replied, “Which one?”

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot, I’m sorry, I just – forgot.”

I tried to keep it together, but walking away, it didn’t seem like so much of an accident. It didn’t even really bother me until I asked which child he was referring to and THEN he suddenly remembered. I don’t know – that was just the final straw. I couldn’t even contain myself until I got to my cubicle. Like, I finally start feeling better and the Universe has to kick me in the gut.

Anyway, I’m not trying to stink up anyone else’s Mother’s Day – which is why I posted it early (that and I was going to explode if I didn’t).

All the MommyBloggers out there deserve to feel GOOD that day – myself included.

I plan on posting something **NICE** and **NOT SAD** Sunday, so check back.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.