Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Money can do funny things to a person. I’m not even talking Gold Fever here. Just a little bit can do a lot of damage.

I was so used to fending for myself and earning every cent I had. I was so used to being broke, it had become a way of life.

Suddenly, I was being paid solely for my presence. All I had to do was show up for a while and laugh at some jokes and I walked away with a handful of cash and a bag of coke. And I did that very often.

We’d go to the casino so he could play blackjack. There were the trips out of town for business meetings. Or he’d take me to MOA, where he’d buy me whatever I asked for.

I got to know The Punjabi a little more. He talked about my future and paying down my debt – I overheard a conversation with one of his friends about his plan to get my debt paid off so I could take out a large loan – I never quite figured out what that was supposed to be for. He also talked about me losing my “loser” friends. He said they were no good for me and they’d only bring me down. That pissed me off, but what really bothered me was when he’d talk about me meeting his family – that’s not why I was there.

I was there for the cherry flavored cigarettes that came in a tin. I was there for the unending drug supply. I was there for the money.

The thought did occur to me that I could probably marry him and live a plush life. I’d never have to work again. I’d have everything I wanted – but would I be happy? Could I bring myself to actually sleep with him?

No, I decided. But that didn’t deter me from continuing the strange relationship we’d established.

It wasn’t easy. I knew that someday, he would expect me to “pay” him back. But I always had a ready way out so I wouldn’t need to.

Then one day, he took me back to his brother’s house. “I need something.” He said.

I stood in the front room, assuming he would be ready to leave in a minute, but he coaxed me into sitting down. He sat very close to me and pushed his head up to mine to kiss me. I pulled away and tried to get up.

“Please!” He said as he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me back. “Please, why?”

“I don’t want to do this here!” I loosened his grip and stood.

“Then where – we get hotel? My parents are at my home.” He looked anxious.

“No, I have to go. We just have to go.”

“Heartbreaker don’t want love.” He said sadly, “Heartbreaker just want money. How much money for you love me?”

“That’s not true, Punjabi! How could you think that about me!? You’re trying to get with me on your brother’s window seat! Aren’t I worth more than that? How could you insult me like that? I just want to go home – NOW!”

My attempt to turn the blame worked. Not only did he stop, he apologized profusely. “I sorry, please don’t be mad, I sorry, I am. I don’t think you like that”

But it also led him on. I let him believe there might be a chance for us. Now there was no going back to what we were. I had to follow through or get the hell away. I just wasn’t sure which way to turn.


Brillig said...

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH YIKES!! This is such a crazy story. You need to write a book. Seriously. I'm, of course, dying to know what happens next, though slightly afraid to find out...

Life As I Know It said...

On the edge of my seat. Again.

Good stuff!

whiskeymarie said...

I really hope you chose the "run like hell" option.
I guess I'll have to wait & see.

Worker Mommy said...

Because of the holiday I totally forgot that today was Wednesday and we'd be treated to the next installment in the story.

I'm lovin' this. The end is next week right ? I don't think my heart can take much more of the "cliffhangers"

Ohh and just had to comment about the Mall of America. I've read about it and dreamed about it...thats my kind of heaven. I'm sooo jealous - its right in your "neck of the woods" isn't it ?

lady macleod said...

sticky business..

Kelly said...

I'm hoping you ran right? But you didn't did you? Because then there would be no story. Right? Right?

You're killing me.

Butrfly4404 said...

WorkerMommy-Yep, next week is the "Finale." I almost forgot this week, too! And yes, MOA is kind of near me. Now it's a pretty big drive and I have zero dollars so I dont' ever go, but it's still cool.

The rest of you I can't answer because it would screw my ending. :)

Shauna said...

Can't wait until next week!

I love the Mall of America!

Brillig said...

Oh! And I love the new pics of your kids! SO DARLING!!! And the man's pic is the same, but it's a lovely pic, so it's all good. Hahaha. GORGEOUS family you got there. I know that this has nothing to do with the punjabi--quite the opposite, i suppose. Still, i wanted to mention it...

Sugar Kane said...

I think you know how I feel about this!

Goldy said...

I wan t the movie rights.

exskindiver said...

write on.

Cherann said...

What a character this punjabi guy was.