I’m so sick of work, I actually feel ILL being here. I’m hating the entire office, too. Not all of them actually did something to piss me off, but I don’t like singling people out.
After Vuty was gone for yet another week and a half vacation (Really, HOW does she get this much vacation time!?), I got really backed up here. I even told my boss the Friday before she was due back, “Well, I’m all caught up with Vuty’s work, but my work has really been suffering.” “Oh, that’s fine,” he says, “Getting her stuff in first is the most important thing.”
I then spent the next week trying to frantically complete requests that were all due the week she was gone with my own work. Bossman actually came to me last Thursday, after I’d gotten to a point where I could SEE my desk again…and had the fucking nerve to tell me he was *concerned* about my work not getting done. At the time, I just played the “I’m working to get it done, sir,” game, but after he left, I came to the realization of The Truth. And I was pissed. He even wanted me to “check in” with him Friday before I left so he could make sure I was working. Seriously.
Since he’s taken on managing another department, he’s been so busy he doesn’t even say hi to us most days. I’ve accepted this. I’ve found ways to get answers that don’t require hunting him down – unlike the other sheep in this department that are completely lost when he’s not around. In fact, I’ve become the person that people come to when they can’t find HIM. I’m probably the least of his worries, or should be, and yet I’m the one he’s now babysitting.
I’m not going to pretend here like I don’t spend an awful lot of time in my Internet world. I know I do…probably a little more than the other people in my department. But then, I don’t have hour-long gab sessions with anyone, either…and they all do. But I make the most out of my work time and normally complete all requests in a timely manner. I have plenty of opportunities while I’m waiting for programs to run and such that I’m able to check my mail and reader the like without wasting time.
Anyway – long bitchy explanation for why I haven’t posted since then. I am vested in my 401K in 17 days. There is no prospected date for the return of the woman whose customer I took on (she’s out with cancer) – in fact, they don’t think she ever will. So alls I’s sayin…is they betta get off muh back or they gonna be sorry. (That’s my gansta talk.)
Let’s move on, shall we?
MAKEOVER MONDAY #3
Mind – My goal was to finish Common Sense Parenting from Boys Town Press. Last post, I was kind of embarrassed to admit this is the book I’d picked up. But now? I have to tell you or I can’t tell you how amazing it is! I will actually finish it at lunch today, but I got through the most important chapters – the ones about keeping your cool and consequences. I’ve been practicing this every day – I’ll tell you more in the “Soul” recap.
This week’s book: between The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (Highly recommended by Hip Tranquil Chick Kimberly Wilson) and Wish I Could Be There…Notes from a phobic life by Allen Shawn. I started them both and haven’t decided which I’m going to focus on.
Body - Yoga one night a week after work. Walk or run twice during the week. Ummm…I did bad again. I’m having problems trying to work this out – mainly because the only time I have to walk, the bugs are really bad. Also, I was going to do a whole hour of yoga during my Alone Time Sunday morning, but Cowboy never called The Man about fishing, so we went grocery shopping instead. I did spend all day Saturday working on my yard and cleaning, though. It doesn’t qualify as a “Goal Completed” but I’m happy to have gotten off my ass and completed something.
I’m still keeping this goal – I have to accomplish it sometime, right?
Soul – STOP YELLING. I am extremely pleased to admit that I can count on one hand the times I “lost it” enough to yell. As a parent, I don’t think it’s possible to NEVER yell – but cutting down to the point where I’m not ALWAYS yelling was extremely important to me. I really have to thank the book. It’s not called “common sense parenting” for nothing – all the things they said in it clicked on that little light bulb with an “Oh, well, of course! Why hadn’t I thought of that!?” For example: kids have to be TAUGHT how to do things. You can’t expect them to just KNOW. Obviously, right? So why is it that Sunshine got yelled at every time she took a shower and didn’t wash her hair well? I did show her how, but I never took the time to actually say, “Now YOU try it.” I just EXPECTED her to grasp what I was saying and do it right.
The main point that they stress in the book is their Corrective Teaching technique. This is where you tell them what they did wrong – exactly. So, instead of saying “You need to lose your attitude!” I now say, “Rolling your eyes at me and complaining about what I said is rude.” Then you give the consequence – something that will WORK, but is not extreme. Then you tell them how they SHOULD act – “When I ask you to do something for me, just say ‘okay’ and do it without complaining.” And then you practice it.
It sounds corny – and I’m not going to lie – it is. I felt really dumb stopping Ninja Boy and saying “No, I’m not done…” and trying to get through the whole deal. But it works. Like a DREAM. No more fighting with them, no more yelling to get results. Like I said before, I’m still working on it and there will always be things that really upset me. They have a chapter on controlling yourself to show control. And you know, when I lose it, after I calm down, I assess the situation and say to myself “THIS is what I did wrong…THIS is what I need to do next time.” And it’s helping. A prime example is after we got home last night from picking them up, Sunshine told me that her mom broke her (new) bathing suit and threw it away – then bought her one to keep at her house. Oh, and they left all their swimming stuff there, too (that I TOLD them not to leave behind). I lost it then. I was mad that she didn’t send the suit home – I could have taken it back if it really broke! I was mad that they didn’t do what they were told. I was mad that I had to find a solution to this problem – they are going to an aquatic center this week with their daycare. Was I supposed to stay home from work? Send them with and pay admission to sit outside the pool all day? Ask DCP to NOT GO and make her and the other charge suffer? After I calmed down, I went downstairs and told them they could call her and ask her to bring their stuff out. Then I told them that because they didn’t bring them home after I specifically reminded them to, they weren’t allowed to bring things over there anymore. That punishment goes against what CSP teaches you (it’s not measurable) – but that’s how we will be doing things. If she wants to buy things for them to have there, then they don’t need to bring their things from home.
I really can’t say enough good stuff about this book. I am renewing it at the library and I’m going to have The Man read it…at least the chapters that I found really important. I hope it opens his eyes like it did mine. It would create SO MUCH harmony in our house – it actually brings tears to my eyes to think about.
So, my goal for this week is to continue practicing these techniques, as well as positive praise. I always thought I gave positive praise, but I didn’t know you were supposed to praise the things they do every day…and the last couple of weeks, it’s worked VERY well.
Long post today, but you’re a trooper for making it through! ;)
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Here's what to do:
- Choose a goal. (It can be a new one each week or something more long-term.)
- Write a Makeover Monday post to share your goal for the week ahead. State whether or not you accomplished your goal from the previous week. It's okay to brag! If you are working towards a long-term goal, report on your progress.
- Spread the good karma by visiting other Makeover Monday participants to encourage and congratulate them on their own makeovers. (check out Moodswinging Mommy for a list of participants)
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