Friday, October 26, 2007

On My Own


The song "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake is probably as cheezy of a song as you could pick for a "Life Soundrack." But if I were to sit down and figure out a soundtrack to my life, that song would pop up several times.

Every time I made a change in my life, I'd get in my car and turn on the radio and Whitesnake would be playing, "I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time. So here I go again."

It seemed so routine. I felt like it was a sign from God to keep me strong. I know, "Sign from God? On the radio? Take it easy, crazy lady!" That's not the point.

I had it down. I knew when my time somewhere was up. When the tension builds between you and the friend you're staying with or you find a piece of paper in your boyfriend's wallet that says Hot Blond - 612-555-9008, you pretty much know you need to be moving on. I could have everything I owned - anywhere I was staying - in my trunk in under twenty minutes. Then I'd hop in to take off and that song would play. And for some reason, it always made me feel better, like everything was going to be okay. Whether I'd left a cheating boyfriend, lost a friend in an argument or had another blowout with my mom - I knew I would be okay. Even when I didn't have anywhere to go, I knew I would be okay.

I guess that's why being on my own never scared me much. I'd left home at 17 out of what I saw as a necessity. My life after that - for four years - was a whirlwind of safe havens, crack houses and mirages of home. I did what was necessary to take care of myself and never really saw a reason to be afraid. Covering myself with my clothes so I could sleep in the backseat of my car, sleeping on disgusting carpet - whatever it took, I had the strength to get through it. I just always felt like the two people I trusted the most - God and myself - were on top of everything.

So while I do suppose I owe Whitesnake a good amount of gratitude for helping me through all those crazy years of my youth, I have a message for them:

Dear Whitesnake,

You wrote the song that kept me strong through every bad boyfriend, ill-fated friendship, job loss and family fued of my young adult life. Could you please write one for me now? Something rockin' with good guitar riffs and a catchy chorus about working too much and needing a vacation?

Thanks! Love you!

Forever Your Fan,

Amy of the Butrfly Garden (My Official Title)

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This post was written for Novemberance's October Writing Project and is cross-posted in my Cre8Buzz blog.

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10 comments:

Brillig said...

Awesome! I love your letter to Whitesnake. hahahaha. What an incredible (and sad, and scary, and difficult!!!) time those four years must have been.

hello insomnia said...

I would love to dance on the top of a car but I'm afraid I would dent the hood.

Whiskeymarie said...

I LOVE that that's "your song".

My Mr. could probably use a little Whitesnake right now too, but I don't think he'd get the joke.

Miss Patti said...

You were always so strong :)

Butrfly Garden said...

Mona, I tried SITTING on the hood of my car and ended up injured. Shakin' my ass on it would be OUT of the question!

MommasWorld said...

I used music to get through tough times. I still dance and sing loudly in my car. The volume intensity is dependent on how upset I am. If I am really upset the volume is near deafening. I think Whitesnake should make you a new song.

Worker Mommy said...

Isn't it cool to have a theme song for your life no matter how cheesy. Hell some things are just empowering.
Even Whitesnake....(and of course I won't be able to get that song out of my head all day)

Virtualsprite said...

It's funny how there is always that one song that just seems to be there when you just need it.

And I, too, will have that song in my head for the rest of the day, thank you.

Let me know when they write that new song. I'd like to share.

Canadian flake said...

the only thing that comes to mind to say is WOWWWWWWWWW and WOWWWWW again.

Cherann said...

That song kept playing in my head while I read your post.

I don't know that I have a life soundtrack. But the only songs that pop in my head are the ones that remind me of my gay ex-boyfriend that I used to always pine for. I think at the time, my theme song was "I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me" by Expose. Lame. I know. But I was 17 and naive. How was I supposed to know that I needed to have a penis in order to captivate his attention?

You forgot to mention in your letter to White Snake that you're also busy planning a wedding.