Saturday, January 3, 2009

Work


It's hard to believe I've been out of work for two months already. I've been working harder than I have in YEARS. Actual, physical WORK. Hammers and saws and lifting heavy things and being so absolutely filthy that all you can think about the whole way home is collapsing in the shower WORK. Frozen snot, double-layered gloves, wearing men's long underwear LAYERED and crappy winter boots being thankful when the God-forsaken wind STOPS for a minute WORK.

Not that I didn't feel my old job was work - people don't believe how exhausting it is to HAVE to sit all day or to have to stare into the glow of a computer screen until your eyes involuntarily close or spasm. While that work left me so mentally drained that even emotional interaction became yet another thing to do, physical work left my body aching and tired, but my mind and soul energized.

When classes started, it got a little more complicated. See, the plan my mom and I formulated was this: I helped her work on the house she is remodeling, she paid for the classes I needed in order to obtain my real estate license. So I crammed 106 hours of class into a month, while helping my mom with her house and my brother with his business on my off days. Not to mention still being mom and wife at home.

Suddenly, I was getting the worst of both working worlds - I was physically aching and mentally drained. Since I finished up my classes the week before Christmas, I took time off the laboring work as well so I had time to bake like mad for our "homemade" Christmas.

We had our Christmas fun, but I can't help but feel like I cheated myself from enjoying the season, and subsequently feel guilty for feeling that, knowing that I was doing what needs to be done. And that given the times and our circumstances, we were lucky we had the time, gifts and food that we did.

Now that the holidays are over, I have this weekend to relax and get my house back in order before I have to push full-force into this new career. It seems almost cheesy starting down a whole new path in life at the beginning of the year. Like a really bad book plot. But at least it will make doing my taxes easier.

So, that's where I am with life right now. Taking every day for what it is and pushing past the tight cocoon of limitations I had set for myself, hoping that this leap of faith lands my family on their feet.



6 comments:

Pollyanna said...

WOW! I guess the missed the post where you lost your job. It sounds like you are making the best of a bad situation! I hope you can find time to blog again, I miss you!!!!

moosh in indy. said...

Sometimes physical work is better than sitting work, it goes by faster and you feel like you DID something.
Other times you just feel plain exhausted.
Good luck with keeping on.

Whiskeymarie said...

I think that, given the circumstances, you're doing awesome. You didn't wallow for months and do nothing. You took action and ventured into a new world and are doing the best that you can.

Good for you!

Virtualsprite said...

Welcome back!

You're awesome and I know that you're doing fine, but I can certainly understand the exhaustion and stress and all that other stuff.

Take a deep breath and have some chocolate. Always helps me! In fact... I think I'll do that now. :-)

WM said...

Busy girl! I know it's crazy stressful right now but I hope that you will be very much rewarded by it all in the end!

Brillig said...

So, what's the latest? Now that the new year isn't so new anymore, how's this year looking? I miss you...