Staci

Something about that Sunday was odd. Our grocery shopping was completely done. The house was picked up. It was still early in the afternoon and we were bored. Never has there been such a quiet Sunday in this house. We're usually scrambling to get things done before the long week is upon us once again.

But this Sunday was different. We opened our new Game of Life and sat to play it. We talked Daddy into playing with us instead of playing his game on the computer. Everything seemed so oddly peaceful.

But then we got the call. A hysterical sister telling us we needed to get over to Mike’s step-dad’s house. Mike’s sister Staci was in an accident. That’s all she knew.

Staci was just at our house the night before. She ran an errand for us and stayed for a family dinner. She stayed kind of late. We had a chance to talk about so much. About how hot their work (she had just started working with Mike’s company) was going to be soon. About how she was going to get her GED. About how hard it was to keep her house clean with her new puppy (She worked so hard to learn to be a good homemaker when they moved in to this house – something I never thought she would do). We talked about the wedding and how we wanted her to take a part in it.

When we go the call, we panicked. I called my mom and asked her to come get the kids. We ran through the house and tried to pack a bag for something unknown. Cell phone chargers, magazines, HOW LONG WILL WE BE THERE??? Snacks, tissues, overnight clothes for the kids…just in case. I stopped randomly to pray.

Before my mom got there, Christy called again. Staci was killed. She crossed the median and was hit by a truck. She was dead. She was only 22.

We spent the night trying to find answers. Trying to find comfort. Trying to find some saving grace in the tragedy that had found our family again.

The last week has been somewhat of a blur. I’ve tried to write several times, but felt like it was a bid for sympathy. I wanted to memorialize her but didn’t want the attention.

Not that I could put the right words together, anyway.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her. I’m still not. So many times this week, I’ve thought, “I should call Stac…” “I wonder when Staci will be...” “I bet Staci would like to...” And I am forced to remember that she won’t be here ever again.

Slowly, our days are growing to be “normal” again. There is less crying and more laughter in each day. But there will always be an empty place in my heart for the girl that I called “sis” long before I knew I’d be marrying her brother. There will always be a ready tear when I think about the wonderful person we lost. The beautiful girl who spread so much love in this world.

Your eyes are filled with love.
They glow with life.
They shine with laughter.

Your smile tells me everything is wonderful.
That your life is what you want it to be.
That you want to share your joy with everyone around you.

I look at these pictures
And forget that you're gone.