A Simple Request

Excuse me, Mr. Grosspants.

Mr. Grosspants of Aurora, Ontario, Canadia.

Mr. Grosspants with an IP Address of 24.137.212.137.

Mr. Grosspants, who uses Aurora Cable Internet for their provider.

I just wanted to tell you: Please stop coming here.

It's obvious that you have some problems. Not only because of your search term (circled in red because I don't want MORE searches for it landing people here), but because of the fact that you are repeatedly coming back after having found me by searching for that term, when you should have been sadly and disgustingly disappointed.

You are creeping me out. You are making me scared for my kids. You are making me regret hosting a fun, informative and SUPPOSED-TO-BE innocent little blogging event. You are making me want to close this blog.

Again, not only because you are looking for that particular sort of thing, but because

YOU KEEP COMING BACK.

So please. Just stop. Don't come back. At all. I will know if you do. And I will be pissed. And when I get pissed, I get vengeful. So just don't. Go about your sick little life somewhere else.

That is all.

Search Me.

When time is tight, it's best to enlist help. The help of my READERS (or rather, random searchers that landed here expecting...something very different, I'm sure).

Brought to you via Statcounter, by request of Melissavina (it’s more than a one-liner, but generally the same idea, right?) and completely idea-pilfered from Cherann, The Effed Up Ways People Come Across My Blog:

"insane ways of torture" (Work for my company!)

"beautiful redneck wedding" (Trying to include tulle AND Nascar?)

"sexy gyno stories" "gyno fetish stories" "gyno play" "horror gyno pics" (The list goes on, I knew talking about my girly parts would bring in a bad crowd!)

"milf garden" (This is a new take on an old search, do they just grow right out of the ground now?)

"women who have three boobies" (Really? I've decided this searcher was about eight years old.)

"should pastors marry non-christians" (Sure...why not?)


And...my favorite:

"chocolate syrup bad for vagina?" (I'm no expert, but I would guess it is.)