1 Year Old

It's my first birthday all over again!

Except this time it's the Garden's birthday.

And I get to blow the candles out all by myself.

Honestly, I can't believe I've stuck with it this long.

If I hadn't made friends like you all, I probably wouldn't have.

So THANK YOU for being a friend. In a totally Golden Girls sorta way.

Here's to another year of bitching, soap box ranting, and random edjumacating.

And many mooooooooore.

Seven!

Happy Birthday, Sunshine!!

www.WordlessWednesday.com

From Austin, With Love

We have Sunshine's birthday coming up in a couple of weeks and I’m trying to get her more involved in the planning process this year.

Last weekend, we were trying to make a list of guests to come to her "Makeover/Fashion Show" Party.

She tried several times to invite boys, particularly a boy named Austin.

"Does Austin like making bracelets and playing dress up?" I asked.

"No...but...he can watch. Or take pictures!" Sunshine replied.

"I think you should invite people who will enjoy the activities that we have planned." I stated. I was NOT about to plan a whole new party with all new favors (plus, doesn’t that sound a little creepy?).

I know she has been hanging out with the boys more this year than in Kindergarten. Her dinnertime stories usually involve playing football at recess or some boy trying to take part of her lunch. But I didn't think that meant she didn't have any girlfriends at school.

"No girls like me." She confessed.

"How do you know that? Did they say it, or are you guessing?" I prodded.

"They don't talk to me."

"Have you tried talking to them?" I asked.

"...no..."


Ninja Boy thought of plenty of girls around the neighborhood and bus stop that would want to come, but I was still worried about why the girls at school weren't taking to her.

Then Saturday morning as we were getting our bags in the car to go to the cabin, she pulled a folded piece of notebook paper from her bag and handed it to me.

"That's from Austin." She said.


"Wow. Love, huh?" (They're starting so young nowadays!)

"Yeah." said Sunshine, "I told him, 'How can you love me? I'm just your friend!'"

"Good girl." I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

The note convinced me that her 'he's the only friend I've got!' story was probably more fiction than reality. That, or the rest of the girls are just jealous. ;)

e-hugs.

Thank you all for your sweet words and thoughts for Bella and the family.

We had a very full weekend and I'll share more pictures throughout the week.

We went out of town and didn't get back until very late last night.

I just wanted to let you all know how much I truly appreciate your comments and emails and I will respond to them as soon as I can.

2

Two years ago today was the worst day of my life.

Two years ago today my life was turned upside down.

Two years ago today we learned that Isabella would not be born alive.

Today is not an easy day. Especially to be at work. I’ve always blamed this place a little for losing her. It’s really hard to be here today. And I’ve only been in for twenty minutes.

I will look forward to Saturday and hopefully that will get me through. Saturday is a bittersweet day for me. As sorrowful as that day was two years ago, it was also a very proud day for me. I was proud of my family for sticking by me through it all – waiting all day for me to give birth when they knew what tears would follow. I was proud of The Man for how strong he was through everything and the strength he gave me. I was proud of myself for making it through what I thought would be impossible. But most of all, I was proud of the life we created. No matter how short it was – it was perfect. Perfect in the way that all she ever felt was love and adoration.

That day I finally got to meet the little girl who had spent nine months kicking my organs and flipping around inside me. I finally got to see her beautiful face – and it looked exactly how I had imagined it would. Exactly.

So I will, today, suffer through the hurt and pain of the memories of two years ago. Because I know that Saturday will be spent remembering a beautiful child who lived a beautiful life. Remembering how much everyone loves her. Remembering how everyone came to welcome her to the world and hand her over to God. Remembering that she is NOT a painful memory – but my beautiful baby who I will one day hold in my arms again.

Happy 27th

Happy Birthday, Tommy.

I love you.

My Day as a SAHM

Things I wish I’d done differently this morning:

*Woke the children earlier
*Brushed my teeth and put deodorant on before we left to drop Ninja Boy at school
*Worn a bra instead of shelved tank
*NOT worn a hooded sweatshirt
*NOT let Sunshine wear her Christmas skirt, red horse t-shirt and American flag flip-flops
*NOT left my purse in the backseat of the car at Target
*Or…realized that I had before I shut the locked door

:)

I’m smiling, I really am.

An impromtu stop at Target after dropping NB off led to a very, very, stupid mistake. After the nice customer service lady let me use her phone and phone book to call The Man (who didn’t hear his phone - he was working) and the police (who would only help if I’d locked a child in the car), I tried one more time to get in through my trunk (haha, yes, my TRUNK was open…yippee!). When that didn’t work, I cried a little bit and decided to walk home.

I miraculously found my extra key right away. So I changed my clothes and we headed back. Sunshine rode her bike this time, which made it SO much faster. (OMG!). When we got there, I decided we’d been through a lot and could use some retail therapy. We both picked out a bunch of stuff to try on. I even bought a dress*.

In the end, it wasn’t a bad day. I think the Universe picked up that I wasn’t going to get in my exercise and forced it upon me.

So, anyway! That took a lot of time out of my day and I didn’t get all my writing I wanted done. Boo.

I had to thank you for all the birthday wishes, though!

My grandparents were in town for the weekend, so Saturday, we went to my mom’s for lunch.

She insisted that I leave the kids for the night and go out. “Get dressed up and go out!” She said. “Put on some nice clothes and have a good time!”

* “These are my nice clothes!” I said…which is why I bought the dress.

We did end up going out. To TGI Fridays as predicted. Really late, too. But we had fun.

I scored some Twins tickets from a guy at work Thursday. So after brunch with the family on Sunday, we headed down to the Metrodome to watch our Piranhas take on the Red Sox. We lose by a run…but we were really close to Tori Hunter AND the bullpen. I don’t get to do stuff like this very often so I was really excited to be so close.

I’m sure I’m missing stuff, but I’m tired and I need a shower like you wouldn’t believe (you so think I’m sexy now, huh?).

I’ll see you all tomorrow with part 3 or 4 or whatever it is.

Every mile is two in winter.

~George Herbert

"The worst is yet to come," … Says the Star Tribune. The weather is pretty nasty right now. I am not going anywhere tomorrow. I had quite enough of Minnesota Winter driving today, thank you!

I should have known that this was what the snow was waiting for…me to need nice driving weather!! I mean, really, all winter with practically NO snow…I plan something that people have to drive a ways to and BAM … SEVERE WINTER WEATHER IS EXPECTED TO BRING HAZARDOUS TRAVEL.

It turned out great, anyway! My SIL made it out with my nephew. My step-dad’s parents came. My mom always has, like, a regime of preteens there. Actually, if anyone else had shown up, they’d have been hungry. Those kids can eat!!

We ended up with 24 bags. Not bad, right? I kept telling everyone, “There will be 24 kids who are getting birthday presents this year because you cared to help!”

I wish my kids would have gotten more involved, but Ninja Boy was tired from basketball and Sunshine likes to do her own thing - especially when things are a little crazy. They knew why we were there, and I hope they took something from it. My nephew inspected the toys for us. I felt kind of guilty passing on toys that failed, but then again, I think he was a little biased. My SIL filled bags like it was nothing while I tried to meticulously plan them all out (failed, btw). Then we let the younger and older ladies take over the finishing touches.

It really sucked that so many people weren't able to make it, but I wouldn’t have wanted anyone in the ditch on the side of the freeway because they tried to drive out ... or home. We got some rockin’ stickers from Karen at Cheerful Givers. I asked for THIRTY. I used 10. J Guess I’ll be saving the rest for the next Birthday Bag Blitz.

But you know, the absolute worst part about doing stuff like this is that I don’t feel like I accomplish anything when I’m not. You know, like making such a difference with one afternoon of work…then going weeks without doing anything special.

Come on, Powerball. I swear I’m not like the other guys…I really will use the money for good!!!


…Any day now…

Until then, here are some pictures…

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." ~Robert Byrne