Answer You Anything! Part Two.

What did I tell ya? I knew better than to declare a date that these would be done!

More questions from Ask Me Anything now answered!

Worker Mommy:

What scares you?
Excellent lead-in Worker Mommy! Aside losing people I love which at one point was a nearly debilitating fear for me – I am also scared of falling, thus I do not like being up high when there is even a remote possibility that I may not stay that high. Bugs also get the best of me. For the most part, I’ve been able to “man-up” and squish my own bugs since I’ve become a mommy. But some bugs I just can’t get over – like ticks. Of all bugs – ones that bury their heads in your skin to suck your blood are the worst. Says me. I have also had very traumatic incidents involving ticks. Okay, probably not traumatic sounding, but they definitely felt traumatic.

What is your most embarrassing moment at work?
Up until a couple weeks ago, I couldn’t think of an answer for this question. Time solves everything, doesn’t it?

So, my gal Patti and I went for our somewhat-weekly walk in the park on lunch. I came back and settled in to my desk when Mike called. I was leaning back in my chair talking on my cell when I felt a stray hair tickling me from inside my shirt. So I discreetly lifted my shirt to find said hair but instead found myself a tiny disgusting wood tick.

I shrieked. Loudly. A high-pitched undecipherable “TIIIIIICK! THERE’SATICKONMEEEEEEE!”
My boss (who now shares a thick fabric wall with me since the flood relocation) asked over the wall, “Amy…is everything alright?” Mike was still on the line asking “What’s going on?!” And I was standing with my shirt half up trying to take the tick off with the same hand that was holding my shirt up. I tried to calm down enough to tell both men that, yes, I was fine. Yes, I am slightly crazy. Yes, I’ll be okay. I let Mike go and went into the bathroom to remove all my clothes and shake them furiously in case Mr. Squished By A Highlighter had any travel companions.

But the really embarrassing part came a bit later. When I realized just how loudly I had screamed. In a large room with hundreds of people quietly working at their desks. Score one for my professionalism, eh?

What makes you roll on the floor laughing?
I have an odd sense of humor. I really appreciate a good "thinking" joke - especially ones that are more funny the next day because you get it more. But the things that get me rolling are simple jokes. Like, "Why does the gorilla have such big nostrils? Because he has big fingers!" Also? Funny animal pictures. LOLCATZ still rock my world.

What do you do when you get really angry?
It depends on why I’m angry and who I am angry AT. I can keep my cool for a while, but once I get to a certain point I am screaming so loud that I almost lose my voice. I have been known to spit when I yell like this. (Not pretty. Especially when my face is all red and I’m all up in the person’s grill.) If I cannot scream or hit something (heh, I’ll face it – or someone), I cry. I cry like a big fat baby. Like the strong emotions have to get out SOMEHOW. Luckily, I don't get that mad very often. :)


Becki:

What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child?
I’m pretty sure I was a “Princess” of some sort almost every year. I was not a very creative child.

Also, can I be a flowergirl?
Becki, I’d be down with this if there weren’t one tiny problem. See, the flower girl dress is a small version of my dress. If you matched the other flower girl, you’d be wearing the same dress as me. And I guess it is typically frowned upon to wear the same dress as a bride to a wedding. (Oh, The Knot teaches me so much!) You are welcome, however, to give me flowers whenever you please.


VirtualSprite:

I want to know more about when you donated your hair two years ago.
At the moment, I was completely horrified. But that was because the stylist was a moron and did everything I asked her not to do. Overall, it was really rewarding. I’m looking forward to doing it again at my normal salon next spring. (Email me if you want pictures.)


Kristina:

Who would win in a fight between a human ninja and a monkey ninja and why?
This is a really tough call. Monkeys are very quick and agile creatures. Train one to be a ninja and they are quite certainly going to be lethal. But I’m going to have to say the human ninja would win because even if the monkey was really badass, the human ninja would probably have a gun, too. I don’t think ninja monkeys carry guns.

Have you bought any clothing items in the past two weeks?
Another question that benefited from my tardiness. Last night I bought a cute dress at Terrgit for seven dollars. And it’s not black! (I don’t know why I felt the need to stock up on black dresses/skirts at the beginning of summer). I’ve also been buying the eco-tees that Wal-Mart has been clearancing out. Organic sustainability + Cheap = So mine.

Would you rather have no elbows or have no knees?
This took a lot of thought. I think I’d rather have no elbows. Because if I couldn’t walk, I may as well just wear a shirt that says, “I can’t believe it’s not butter.” But I would no longer be able to drink wine with you unless you helped me out a little.

If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Morning View from Incubus. It’s been like six years since I got that album and it’s still one of my favorites.

What do these stand for (best guess):

BHIMBGO – Beat Him If My Bacon Gets Overcooked
WAFB – Women Are Fecking Beautiful
SITD – Sometimes I Think Dirty
ANFSCD – Amy Never Forgets Some Crazy Dreams

Answer You Anything! Part One.

I have to break this little party up into separate posts. I had no idea you (Worker Mommy) would have so many questions for me! You (Worker Mommy) must really miss me. ;)

Questions from Worker Mommy:

Ok...what's your favorite childhood memory?
I’d have to say that it would be collective memories of being on my grandparents’ houseboat on the river. Almost all my great memories are there.

Have you ever been in a fist fight?
……Yes. A few actually. What can I say? I have a big mouth. Sometimes you have to be able to back it up. Haha – the worst fight (with the most punching) I’ve ever been in was with Mike’s older sister, actually (completely unprovoked – I swear!). But the one I was most injured in was when I was fighting with my ex-boyfriend and we ended up at the bar. I spent the night [underage] drinking and the fight escalated. The night ended with me trying to hit him, him ducking into a car and a large Amazonian woman stepping up in his place. Since I was, after all, ten feet tall and bullet proof, I tried to take a swing, but my *dear friend* Eric stepped in and grabbed my arms. So I kicked her. And she punched me in the eye. I kid you not – I STILL see that black eye some days.

What drives you nuts about people?
Arrogance. I’m all for self-empowerment and self-confidence, but there is a line. And one you cross it, you’re pretty much just a d-bag and no longer exist to me. There is actually one person on our guest list that we’re debating over because I don’t want him at our wedding due to his flagrantly arrogant attitude. (That’s my argument line.) (If you watch Hell’s Kitchen – he is a LOT like “Jason” who was fired last night.)

Questions from Kelly (who is rocking some new digs!):

ummmmmm...you're 26? OK That's my first question.
Not yet, actually. I will be on May 6th.

And...where you been?
Well, I went to LaCrosse a couple weeks ago.

And...What's up with the wedding stuff?
Easy: Vendor prices.

And...where you been?
Ooh, I went to IKEA finally, too! (Not as great as I had hoped.)


Questions from Momma’s World:

What are your plans for the summer?
Since my “dear sweet *BFF*” called me on Easter to tell me to find new daycare, our summer plans are a bit up in the air right now. We’ve been busy converting my office into an extra bedroom (leaving one of the three computers/desks in there and moving the other two into my bedroom) so that my teenage brother and sister can take turns staying with us and helping with the kids during the day. (At home, they aren’t allowed outside when they are home alone because my mom fears that they will drown in the lake or be eaten by bears and coyotes. They will freaking LOVE this, trust me.) That leaves a week at the end of the school year that my kids are out and my siblings aren’t yet, so we’re thinking of taking a trip with the kids during that time. Not sure where yet, just somewhere in driving distance. Good recommendations, anyone?

Have you made any decisions on your lists of to do for the Wedding?
Yep! Let’s see if I can remember everything I’ve booked: Church, Hall, Photographer, Florist and Baker. I still have a lot to do – my next thing will be starting my playlists, which I’m actually looking forward to doing. I have some DIY stuff in the works, but I’ll post about that another time.

Has the Man made any requests/demands about anything he wants at the wedding?
No pink. And a top hat. And also that we spend the extra hundred something dollars to get Buttercream cake.

(I'll be back with the rest. I am not going to go promising dates because we all see how great I am at that.)

ADD Thursday

A few things to take care of today:

Worker Mommy has harassed – I mean TAGGED – me to do this meme:

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1) BlondeMomBlog
2) Bun in the Oven3
3) You da Mom
4) Worker Mommy
5) Butrfly Garden

Next, select five people to tag:
Anyone on my blogroll (See: “Cool People”) that hasn’t done it yet.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Let’s see… I was fifteen, so I was in tenth grade. At this exact moment, I was probably in my Child Development class making paper weapons. (Yeah, I was high.)

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Crying at Sunshine’s Preschool Graduation (Funny that Life As I Know It posted about it today!)

Five snacks you enjoy:
1) Baked! Chips…especially Doritos and Scoops
2) Act II 94% Fat Free Butter 100 Calorie Mini-bags
3) Breakfast bars (esp. South Beach Choco Protein and Special K)
4) Applesauce Oatmeal Muffins (They are so yummy and healthy!!)
5) Chocolate. Lots and Lots of Sweet (or dark!) Chocolate.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
That’s like saying “Five things you’ve seen in your life,” How do I choose five?
1) Most Incubus songs
2) Almost all Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks songs
3) Same with Madonna
4) And Korn
5) Two ICP songs (hahahah! Really!! NOOOO, I’m not a “juggalette”!)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1) Start a nonprofit – probably a safehouse for abused families
2) Drive a WAY better car
3) Go to a party with Paris Hilton, Linsay Lohan and Nicole Richie so I could personally kick all of their asses and tell them off.
4) Go to the spa every day
5) Fly my family and friends to a remote tropical location for my dream wedding
Damn, that one was easy!

Five bad habits:
1) Swearing (glad I’m not alone in this!)
2) Clicking the Blue “E” (aka my Internet Addiction)
3) Not calling people – or answering the phone (I HATE the phone)
4) Engaging someone in a conversation that was already in progress in my head (does that make sense?)
5) Crying – is that a habit? I do it a lot.

Five things you like doing:
1) Yoga
2) Meditation
3) Traveling
4) Hiking
5) Getting better at golf
Funny how I do NONE of them, eh?

Five things you would never wear again:
1) stretch pants
2) the t-shirt I bought at Ozzfest a few years back
3) All the backless tank tops I own (I miss you Body!!)
4) My prom dress that’s STILL hanging in the closet
5) My incredibly sexy black strappy heels (both pair) – only because after pregnancy, my feet no longer fit. I should offer them up (Small size 8!). Or just keep them to look at. Yeah. Cuz they’re so pretty.

Five favorite toys:
1) my iPod (It’s my BEST FRIEND, it makes EVERY list!)
2) My digicam
3) My computer
4) MediaPlayer on days like today when I forget #1
5) NetFlix (does that count!?)


In *other* news:
As far as Scari’s visitation last night, I left work EARLY to make sure I was there when she picked them up. I got home and The Man said she called and said she had to work (WORK!? What about your Crazy Benefits!?) and could she take them tomorrow (No, because Wednesday is the only day NB doesn’t have homework). So she actually said “Let me call my work and see if I can start tomorrow.” START? That job sounds like it’s going to last!! Anyway, she got every Wednesday off showed up about six. Word on the street (or from the kids, whatever) is that her new job is COLD CALLING to sell MAGAZINES. WTH were we thinking when we said she wasn’t stable enough to raise kids?

It makes me think about Orlando Jones on Office Space and it makes me LAUGH!
“Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.”

AND…she’s still telling them that they’re coming to stay with her for the summer, which, NO. Just, No. No problems, though, we didn’t even talk to her.

Also, this is my 100th post. I meant for this to be my “100 Things About Me” post, but that just ain’t gonna happen. So, yay for me for making it this long!

Ten Little Factoids

Me: “Can you think of a couple interesting things about me?”

The Man: “What do you mean?”

“Well, like, Cherann got her spleen taken out and Brillig can speak four languages.”

“Uuhh.”

“Yeah, that’s why I haven’t done the meme yet.”

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~*

I was tagged by Cherann and Brillig to be interesting. Isn’t it funny how when somebody wants you to be something that’s the absolute last thing you can be??

Case in point: I was “invited” to be part of the “company fun week” planning committee. I tried to ignore it (hello! busy here!) , but got a call telling me that Big Shot Lady was waiting for me to start. I grabbed my notebook and shuffled off to the [whatever stupid motivational poster it’s named after] meeting room. As soon as I sat down, one of the women said, “Amy has GREAT ideas!”

“Oh, well! Let’s hear them!!”

“Wait…..What? Ideas on what? Who the hell are you?”

Hahaha…work, is, like, OMG! SO. Much. Fun!


The Rules (I made my own up cuz that‘s how I roll):

I will write 10 things (that randomly come to my tired mind) about myself.
I won’t tag anyone (but if you‘d like to play, get the real rules from Brill or Cherann).

1. My mom was once a collector of strange vehicles. At one time, we had an old city bus that covered the length of the back of our house. My favorite was the Excalibur Limo.

2. Last year I donated a 13 inch pony tail to Locks of Love. Then I heard bad things about them, so when I do it next year, I’m donating to Wigs for Kids.

3. Growing up, I would devour multiple books in a night. Now I can’t even finish magazine articles. I have no explanation.

4. I’m very controlling. And possessive. Somehow this doesn’t bother The Man.

5. I love shopping at thrift stores. Particularly when I was smaller and found awesome old t-shirts in the boys section. I hate dressing like everyone else.

6. I love sunflower seeds in the shell and often take them over lunch. Before “calories” existed in my life, I’d eat them for days on end.

7. I grew up on the river. Not like a beaver, but I lived in a city where three rivers met and my grandparents (who are HERE right now! Yay!) had boats docked on the river. It isn’t summer for me until I’ve been on the houseboat.

8. My company is located on a lake. My mom lives on a private lake. I live near two large lakes and pass at least ten on the way home. (It’s Minnesota, people!)

9. Despite #7 and #8, I will only swim in a pool.

10. I have the same birthday as Kristina, my SIL (It’s Sunday, yo!). My step-dad’s is the same as my sister’s. His sister’s is the same as my moms…there are more, but isn’t it creepy already?

Meme-Tastic Fun

I am just a blogging FOOL today!

Here’s a MeMeI was tagged with by Cherann.

Three things that scare me
1) Bugs in my house
2) My temper
3) Losing someone I love

Three people who make me laugh
1) The Man
2) My SIL, Kristina
3) All my bloggy friends (I refuse to pick one…or three)

Three things I love
1) My fam, of course
2) Desserts
3) Eating at restaurants

Three things I hate
1) Owing (anything)
2) Cooked mushrooms
3) Slithery, slimy, or otherwise creepy creatures

Three things I don’t understand
1) Signals – TV, Radio, Cell phone…it’s too amazing for me to try to understand
2) Why so many people become famous for being gross/stupid/whorish/etc
3) Why it’s so hard for everyone to accept everyone else as they are (me included)

Three things on my desk
1) Lots and lots of work to do!!
2) A candy jar full of tea bags
3) My ipod

Three things I want to do before I die
1) Travel - anywhere!
2) Write a memoir (If I go before, someone should just edit my blog into a book, okay? You’ll be missing a lot, but it will be done anyway.)
3) Learn how to forgive

Three things I can do
1) Twist my tongue upside down
2) Know when I’m being lied to
3) Turn to ice (emotionally - when necessary)

Three things I can’t do
1) Feel bad for people who treat others badly.
2) Get rid of my cat even though I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to her now
3) Hula-hoop

Three things I think you should listen to
1) Your mother (a lot of the time!)
2) Drive 105 (my fave radio station)
3) Hip Tranquil Chick

Three things you should never listen to
1) Put-downs
2) Someone you don’t trust
3) Diet pill commercials

Three things I’d like to learn (but won’t)
1) How to fix a car
2) Chinese
3) Tai Chi (that one’s a maybe)

Three shows I watched as a kid
1) Jem (Truly, truly, truly outrageous!)
2) Fraggle Rock
3) The Smurfs


I’ve already read Brillig’s so I’m going to have to tag Sugar Kane and Chesca. Also, Kristina...but I'll be the only one here who can read yours!

Don’t Hate The Playa…Hate The Game!

Or, DON’T hate the game, because it’s kinda fun!!

The Rules (Directly copied from Sugar Kane cuz I’m lazy like that.): Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.” I respond by asking you five personal questions (I will leave these questions for you in my comments) so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate! You WILL update your journal/bloggy thing/whatever with the answers to the questions (please don't leave your answers in my comments unless you don't have a blog). You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


So, these are my questions from Ms. Sugar Kane…(Btw, she’s far more creative than I, so don’t be expecting “good” ones like this from me! Cuz I’m lazy like that, remember??)

1. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Being a Heroes fan, it’s kind of hard to choose because I see the downside to a lot of “super powers.” I think it would be reading minds, though. I know Matt Parker is kind of a loser and doesn’t use his powers the best (how about some discretion, man? And please work on the faces you make while you’re using your power - if you survive). Or super strength because that would be pretty cool too…or can I just pick Peter, because he can do anything!? I think we’ve established that I’m very indecisive.

2. How did you become involved in the various charities you support and the green movement?
Guilt and loneliness. Not what you’d expect, huh? After what happened with Isabella, I was pretty sure I was paying my dues for some of the rotten things I’d done in my life. The life I’d been planning for almost a year was suddenly gone and I felt very empty. I talked about getting into Walk America before. That just made me realize that I really did have the ways and means of helping other people. I’ve always wanted to help the less fortunate, but before that considered myself in their group. It’s an odd thing - when you lose what’s most important to you - after a while, (if you’re lucky) you realize all the blessings you have in life and become very grateful for them.

3. Which would you choose, fame or immortality?
I’m not so sure I’d want either. I wouldn’t want to be immortal because I’d have to watch everyone I love die. (Geez, this is getting really sad!). I guess I’d pick fame, because that comes with money (usually - I don‘t want to be famous for being a psycho or anything!). I REALLY dislike the paparazzi, though.

4. What has been your biggest challenge in raising children that are 'not yours'.
Connecting with Ninja Boy. Sunshine was still a baby when I met The Man, so she didn’t see anything really weird about having three parents (until she went to daycare anyway). But NB was five. His mom was a SAHM (only because she couldn’t keep a job, but this isn’t about her - though I would LOVE to pin all my problems on her). Anyway, he was so used to having her around and then after a few really rough months and some traumatic experiences, he was living with his dad and, as his mom taught him, “The Amy my dad is sleeping with” (His aunt has the same name and I was pretty much homeless from 17-20). So, he’s had a really tough time connecting with me because for so long he thought of me as trying to replace his mom. I’ve had a really tough time connecting with him because I don’t understand him and his emotions. It creates fights daily, but I still love them both more than I ever could have imagined.

5. What is your dream job?
Don’t go into shock now…but I’d start a non-profit. I’m not exactly sure WHAT it would be for, but I’ve always wanted to win the Powerball so I could. My long-time dream was a secure neighborhood for abused families. But now I’m into the whole “save babies” thing…so…I’ll let you know for sure after that windfall.

Ultimate Blog Party 2007

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